I'm Not Sorry

My step-dad is moving out today.


I’m sitting upstairs in my room listening to him clatter around downstairs, moving box after box into his car, pile load after load of his things and carry them away.

I get the feeling that I should be feeling sorry that he is leaving, moving away to another house where I won’t see him everyday, let him ask me how school was or anything else he usually does.

But I don’t.

I don’t feel sorry that he’s going, and I don’t know why.

He’s lived with me since I was 8 years old. He was there when my father abondened us, he was there when I needed boy advice, and he was there when I got my permit. He has been more of dad to me then my dad ever was, even when he was around, so why don’t i feel bad that he’s moving out?

He told me he doesn’t love me. I wasn’t surprised in the least bit, I never expected him too, but It’s not I’m mean to him, it’s not like I’m some horrid bitch who defies everything he says and disrespects him left and right like some kids do to their step-parents. I don’t see why he never loved me. Maybe it’s all his issues he had with his mom and his sister while he was growing up, a lot fo the abuse he suffered he suffered from them, but that doesn’t mean he has to treat the other women in his life like crap, does it?

I don’t know. I guess I shouldn’t be talking since I have issues myself with men, but I guess I never really loved him either, not like a daughter loves her father, anyway. But I don’t love my biological dad like that either, not by a longshot.

I feel bad.

I’m not sorry.